Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Five things not to do in sermons!
5. Do not yell out at the top of your voice, "Will someone shut that kid up!" even if you want to say it.
4. Do not repeatedly scratch your genitals if you have a transparent perspecs lecturn as your pulpit.
3. Do not try to break the record for how many power-point slides you can fit into a sermon.
2. Do not, under any circumstances whatsoever, quote the Left Behind series.
1. Do not begin your sermon by saying: "I'm gay and Jesus loves me" and then pausing for a long time. Note: I have actually done this. It was a sermon about homosexuality and I was quoting a UMC minister who had recently outed himself, but a Deacon in the frontrow nearly had a coronary before I could put the quote into its proper context.