Saturday, July 04, 2009

Happy Fourth of July

To my American readers I say, "Happy Independence Day!" and I would like all of you to now go back and read Romans 13 about submitting to divinely instituted government (it's never too late to repent you know and the English are much nicer these days). And while you're at it, please remove those idolatrous icons of nationalism, i.e., your American flags, from places of worship as our citizen is in heaven and God does not look and sound like Colonel Sanders (I know that sounds shocking but trust me on it!). Finally, let me leave you all with a joke:

Q: What is the difference between America and a tub of yoghurt?

A: If you leave a tub of yoghurt for 200 years it will develop a culture!

Blessings to my yanky mates!

11 comments:

Daniel said...

Mike,
Do you think the Queen would accept a single loyalist back in order to get resident tuition.

Jason said...

Given that the Brit-taxes are much higher now during the 1770s, I think most Americans will pass. And don't forget a good chunk of us got independence from Mexico, not the Brits.

In a related observation, I notice that you haven't changed citizenship yourself, have you Mike? Maybe you could run for office back in that home continentcountry of yours on a platform of returning to life under the Queen.

hrobins said...

Haha--what?! Enjoying Chinese and Mediterranean food and Italian and German classical music doesn't count as culture? Quite frankly, I'm offended. It takes special skill to steal everyone else's cultures ad blend them all together until instead of our own vibrant color, we have a brown mush. Geesh. *sarcasm light on highest setting*

Don Garlington said...

Yes, I have read Romans one or two times, and I know that your unhistorical reading of that text cuts no mustard with anyone who is aware of its original significance. Also, you should be slapped for your insufferable arrogance. Stars and Stripes forever.

ros said...

Mike, I'm not really sure that an Australian gets to make that joke about the yoghurt.

Terry Wright said...

Australia has high culture: It gave the world Neighours.

Tyler said...

American culture is the mirror for the rest of the world's cultures (well at least those in Western Europe) to see how ridiculous they look about 6 months after the fact.

rameumptom said...

I'm thinking America would consider coming back to the fold, if you were willing to pay off our current debts. Friend, can you spare $13 trillion (dollars or pounds are okay).

BTW, how is it that you would reference Romans 13, when it was obviously mistranslated by the King James' scholars (all loyal to the Crown, no less)? ;)

Andrew said...

There's a great article in the Washington Post about how America was birthed out of Calvinistic Christianity. Read it here: http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/guestvoices/2009/07/the_calvin_quincentenary_and_american_liberty.html

Andrew said...

http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/guestvoices/2009/07/the_calvin_quincentenary_and_american_liberty.html

Andrew said...

Sorry, it's not allowing me to paste the entire link. Try this: John Calvin, Founding Father